WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
