Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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