Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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