If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
