Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
