Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
