He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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