yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The power of my boobs compel you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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