yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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