I molested 6 butterflies tonight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize