on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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