Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
