You made me cry and you don't even care
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
