I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
