Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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