I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
