i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize