Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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