Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
