Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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