He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
