I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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