She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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