you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
