Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
