Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
