I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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