We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize