I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
