Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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