I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
