If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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