At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
