just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
