So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
