Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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