Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize