awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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