I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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