do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Be still, my beating vagina.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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