Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
People in love make me want to vomit
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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