Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize