This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
