Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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