Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
