I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
