I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
