He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
