You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
