yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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