I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
