Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
