five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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