Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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