i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I need to calm my uterus...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize