How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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