shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
