Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
