May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
