we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize