Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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