Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
