This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
