thus making me awesome and them whores
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
